Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
