Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You pole danced in your parka.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
