what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
