i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
