She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
