Fuck appropriateness.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize