she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
