Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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