What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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