Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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