My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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