you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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