I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize