I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
