We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
