I could have mohawked her pubes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
