what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
