fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
