Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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