I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
