don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
