please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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