it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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