Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
