google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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