I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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