I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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