Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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