he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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