Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
