he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't turn off my feet"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
