I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
