okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
