Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
