he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize