I can tuck mytits in my pants
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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