If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize