i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
