who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
