There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
