Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Screwed.edu
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
