oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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