there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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