I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize