My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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