Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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