Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
