btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
