I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
