she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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