so explain again why im purple
no
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
