tell your sister to shave her snatch
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
