i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
