I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
