They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
