is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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