you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
