she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
