16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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