Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
