I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I checked into jail on foursquare
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
