Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I believe in your delicious
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
