If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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