put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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